So Hard to Say Goodbye Part One
by DarkAngel6
Summary: Relena helps Heero to see gray in his black and white state of mind before a dangerous mission. R&R please!
1. Default Chapter Title

Title: So hard to say goodbye  
Author: **Dark~Angel**  
Censer: G  
  
'lo everybody. **Dark~Angel here, your humble guide through the insane fanfics I write. This is one of my   
newer fanfic ideas I just pieced together because I've had tiny inspirations. This might read like a soap   
opera, but I'll try to avoid that. I get all these ideas at 1:00 AM, so that might be a factor...Anyway! This is   
a RP/HY fanfic. IF you do not like that pairing, I suggest you leave, or just deal with it. Relena is trying to   
help Heero see gray spots in his black and white mind. NOTE: No Gundam Wing characters were hurt in   
the making of this fanfic.   
~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"You do realize, Heero, that this is a VERY dangerous mission. We've sent three scouts already,   
but they have all failed to return. Are you sure you will take this mission?" Colonel/Lady Une paced the   
room.  
"Mission, accepted," another deep, smooth monotone voice answered.   
"Very well, then. Please, try not to self-destruct for our sake, and Relena's."  
Heero looked up to see if there was any spite of mischief in her eye. He couldn't any, but there   
was always more to Lady Une than one ever could know.  
  
The moon was a creamy pearl in the deep velvet sky. Two shapes made their way to a small, nice-  
looking apartment. As they stepped into the street lamp, you could tell by their silhouettes that the pair was   
two young women, around the age of 17. One fumbled in a coat pocket and triumphantly produced a key.   
She slid into the lock and beckoned the other to follow her. The other hesitantly drew forward and wiped   
her feet on a small rope mat.  
They found themselves in a splendor of glass, china, Oriental rugs, and carved cherry wood. One   
looked at home, and the one that has so hesitantly drawn forward in a daze of awe. She spoke: "So. There is   
more to Hilde Scheinbiker (AN: That's how I think you spell Hilde's last name), no Hilde Maxwell, than   
one could ever tell."  
The one called Hilde blushed slightly and modestly, setting herself primly down in an equally   
prim chair. "Well, I'm sure it's nothing to how the Sanc Kingdom once looked, Relena. Like you, I was   
born into a wealthy family and was graced with many good fortunes. Though may I add, Duo has already   
broken 2 of my china dishes and one of my Ming vases. He's a bit of a bull in a china shop that's for sure."   
She sighed. "I was just was just getting used to living in wealth again too. I guess it'll all have to go."  
Relena dropped herself in a royal blue armchair. "I'm exhausted, Hilde. All that work as prime   
ambassador and work with the Preventers. Could I have some tea or something strong, if it's not too much   
trouble. It has been a long, long day."   
Hilde surveyed the women across from her. She knew Relena had been working a lot lately. Why   
on earth, though? she wondered. Hilde stood up. "I could do with a cup myself. Let's both go to the   
kitchen. We can talk there too."  
  
Quietly, Duo snuck through the hedges outside the apartment the belonged to Hilde and himself.   
He took a large amount of rope out of his bulging pocket, and somehow maneuvered himself onto the   
narrow decorative sill that ran around the building. He picked his way over several broken spots and heaps   
that had one served as previous pigeon privies. Re reached his destination: the window of his kitchen where   
Relena and Hilde where sitting and talking. He crouched down, prepared to sit there all night if it meant   
finding out anything that could stop Heero from going on his mission.   
  
  
Relena and Hilde entered a slightly less fancy kitchen, and sat down at the long counter. Hilde   
grabbed to mugs from a cupboard above them. "So," she said as she gave Relena a steaming cup of tea, 'I   
hope you like tea. Duo drank all the Earl Gray, it's the only thing that keeps him awake at work." She   
giggled.  
Outside, Duo snorted.  
"Peppermint is fine, thanks. I never like Earl Gray tea much anyway."  
They both sat in silence for a moment, sipping their tea. "So," Relena said finally. "What's it like   
to be a newly wed? Is Duo treating you right?"  
"Oh! I can't say I have had more fun ever, except blowing up an occasional mobile doll or two. I   
love cooking for Duo, although I'm not sure if he likes my cooking. He always eats it, and I'm pretty sure   
he likes it, but if Duo's hungry, he'll eat anything, so I can never tell. Hey what about you and Heero?" she   
asked suddenly.  
"Nothing, at the present. Since the war has been over, he's always with the Preventers. It wasn't   
working out, so we decided to cool it off and just be friends. I see him occasionally, and we go out for   
lunch or something. As friends," she added, seeing the look on Hilde's face.   
"Then what do you look for in a guy, then, Relena? What good traits?"  
"Good traits in a guy," she mused. "Well, Hilde, believe it or not, I need someone emotional. A   
person who knows the horrors and beauty of war and the sorrowful sight of human blood staining the   
ground, and the fresh scent of peace and springtime and new hope. Someone who can listen to beautiful   
music, and see art, and read poetry, and cry for human folly and what their hands can make besides war.   
Someone who can carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, and yet fly free as a bird. I think, I've   
found that someone, Hilde. He just has to realize that person is inside of him."  
"Heero?" Hilde breathed.  
Relena just nodded.  
  
  
Duo smirked, a look of satisfaction on his face. He'd taped the whole conversation, so he could be   
prepared and bring Heero on more reason to go on his mission.  
  
Relena helps Heero see grey in his black and white state of mind  



	2. So Hard to Say Goodbye Part 2 and 3

Title: So Hard To Say Goodbye parts 2 and 3

Author: **Dark~Angel**

Rating: G

OK, this is the second part. I'll spare you the long introduction that I put up last time. I've written the other parts, I just need to type them, so if they take a while, don't flame me *ducks flames*. All flames will used to toast marshmallows, so don't think about it…. 

Disclaimers: I don't' own Gundam Wing. Never did, never will. *Sigh*

PART TWO

Duo crept through several dark alleys before reaching the entrance to Heero's house. It was deep in the heart of the city, enough thugs to be dangerous. Nothing was to dangerous for Heero. There were many thieves, too, but Heero possessed nothing worth taking of or value.

He slipped through an open window. As usual, Heero was working on his laptop.

Heero continued to type, but felt something twitch in the back of his mind. He felt another presence in the room. "Whoever you are, I would leave," he said as the typing ceased and he reached for his gun.

Duo was slightly surprised, but he had expected Heero to do that. You couldn't keep anything from Heero for too long. "Hey, Yuy. Long time, no see."

"I'm glad it stayed that way," Heero replied. "I have work to do for a very important mission, so I would appreciate if you would leave me to work. Before I have to make you." His finger twitched toward the trigger of his gun.

"Woah, Yuy, don't get trigger happy on me now. I just want to discuss some things, and to start, what is this mission of yours anyways? And how are things with Relena?" He asked the last question in a slightly teasing voice.

Heero reddened slightly. "My mission is between Lady Une and I. As for Relena, there was never anything in the first place."

"I think so," Duo replied smugly. "Have you seen the way she's been working lately?" He asked, his tone softening. "That's all cause of you, buddy. That's the reason she wraps herself in her work." He shook his head sadly. "The more you resist her, the more lost she'll become. Have a heart, perfect soldier, and see what's before you eyes. You've got to talk to her"  
"There's nothing between us!" Heero persisted as some of his anger at Duo subsided and a guilty feeling filled his throat.

Duo shook his head again, drew out his tape player/recorder, and pressed play. HE left silently, leaving Heero to listen to Relena's words. "...someone who can carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, yet fly free like a bird. I think I've found that someone, Hilde. He just has to realize that person is inside of him."

END OF PART 2

PART THREE

"Heero," Hilde repeated.

"Really, I know that person is inside of him Hilde. Really." Tears hinted at the corners of her eyes. "I know that person is really there." Her tea sat cold and bitter in her hands. Forgotten. Just like Heero.

Heero sat still and frozen. Hilde's voice cut through his mind. "Heero?" it softly inquired. Heero caught his breath. He reached out and turned off the tape player. Was that person really inside of him?

He went over, saved his latest mission report, and closed down the screen. "…who can carry the weight of the world on their shoulders…"

Duo shook his head as he left the room. He left Heero sitting there, dumbfounded. How blind can one man be? He thought angrily. Even Wufei opened up eventually and his and Sally's relationship is flourishing. But Heero, he thought grimly, Heero's a tough little but that'll stick to his ways till the end. Just on more choice left, I guess. I'll have to visit Lady Une myself."

"Why don't you spend the night? Duo won't be home until later," Hilde offered Relena gently. The girl looked as frail as a china doll, and it was best Hilde didn't drop her.

"Thank you, Hilde. I'm afraid I must be going. I still have some work to finish up, though." She dusted past the small coffee table next to the chair where her coat was, picked it up and put it on, and made her way to the door. "Thanks for every thing, Hilde. I'll meet you again sometime next week. WE have to inspect all the Preventers' stations, so maybe we can have lunch or something."

Relena floated down the street, vaguely in the direction of the bus station. She continued walking, past the bus station, past the taxi garage, past the rental car center. She let her feet lead her as she basked in the moon's creamy light. She found herself in a dark ally. Remembering the last ball she had gone to and danced under the twinkling stars alone, she picked up her feet and played a tune in her head. She sent herself into a spinning dance, faster and faster until she was beginning to feel dizzy. She picked a slower ballroom dance, her perfectly coordinated feet following the steps smoothly. At the moment, she remembered that this was the dance in which she had danced with Heero. She lost herself in memory as she danced, not realizing somewhere in the shadow someone was watching her. 


	3. So Hard to Say Goodbye Parts 4 and 5

Title: So Hard to Say Goodbye Parts Four and Five  
Author: **Dark~Angel**  
Rating: PG  
  
Hi! There is no particular reason for this rating except it's more intense than the other chapters. No flames, please. If you want to directly e-mail me comments, my e-mail is: gwingfan303@yahoo.com.  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, this is for entertainment purposes only.  
  
PART FOUR  
  
Heero sat in silence for a moment. He looked out his window into space, wondering if Relena, like him, was alone that night. How could I have let you go? he wondered. Vaguely in the distance, he could see a silhouette dancing in the moonlight. He watched it, enchanted by the twisting, complex, so much like the ones he had learned at St. Gabriel's. He realized, in fact, that those were the steps that he had learned there. But who else in this small space colony had learned these steps? Relena? He looked closer and saw the sweeping skirts and long wool coat that Relena wore as foreign ambassador. He ran out to her, but he was not the only one.  
  
Relena kept her twisting step steady. Her hair wrapped around her as she completed a complex turn. She stopped her dance, think of the first time she had danced with Heero. No, she told herself. Future happiness is more important than memories. No matter how much I loved him and how much he hurt me, I have to move on. She picked a tune in her head, an old European Folk Song that played in a music box her mother had given her many, many years ago. Almost another lifetime ago, before she had met the Gundam Pilots, or Heero. Heero......She turned to face the moon while she danced, turning her back to the dark alleys that took of from the one she was in and the to the low, dark, dirty houses. The dance reminded her of Mrs. Darlain. She brought out all her memories of the Darlains, and drowned herself in the past. Oblivious to anything else, she did not notice the two men running toward her.  
  
  
Heero stopped when he got close to Relena. Despite what she said to Hilde, Relena and Heero had not seen each other since the broke off their relationship. It had been about two months since he had seen her this close. He had forgotten her beauty, her flowing golden hair, sapphire eyes, cheeks like roses, china skin. In her eye, something was missing, her life and basic will to live. "That's all `cause of you buddy." Duo's voice echoed through his mind.   
Remembering the danger she was in, he assumed a fighting stance. The thug after her didn't notice him, and if he did, he didn't care. He was already grabbing her. She finally snapped herself back into reality and started to scream. The thug punched her unconscious. He started to slip his dirty hands up her loose blouse, but Heero quickly flicked a foot deep into the thug's stomach. The thug retracted, hunched over. Snarling, the thug picked himself up and charged at Heero. Heero just stood there, which perhaps threw the thug off-balance.  
As the thug leaned over, prepared to knock Heero down, Heero just prepare his fist and sent it into the thug's stomach. This time, the thug fell over. Heero kicked his head so he would become unconscious and rolled him into a garbage pile. Remembering Relena, her rested her over his shoulder and headed back to his house, Relena's hair playing down his back.  
  
PART FIVE  
  
When she awoke, Relena was warm and tired. A soft fabric was laid over her. She looked down and saw a quilt in a pattern she had never seen before. She had a buzzing headache and a ringing sound in her ears, but nothing really to worry about. Soon, she realized she was not in farmiliar little cottage among a small grove of trees. She remembered the thug, and her heart quickened a beat. She softly pushed the quilt back and padded to the door. Nothing could escape Heero ears, and he spun around, eyeing her. "You're awake."  
  
  
Duo snuck down the deserted back halls of the Preventers Headquarters. This is easy, he though, too easy. Creeping down the hall, he made it to Colonel Une's office. Turning the knob, he found it locked. Prepared for this, he fished a paper clip out of his pocket and bent it until he could fit it into the lock. HE slipped in quietly.   
  
"You're awake," Heero repeated blandly. "You shouldn't be leaving yet. You are still weak."   
Relena stared at her feet. "That's never stopped me before. Or you for that matter."   
"Things have changed Relena. I've changed, you've changed. It's been so long." He reached out to touch her hair but stopped.  
"I really should be going, Heero. I can take care of myself."  
"It's been so long, Relena. I haven't seen you. Maybe it was better that way."  
Relena fought tears. "I watched everyone around me fall in love," she whispered. "I kept waiting for you to come back, but you never did. I promised myself I wouldn't be hurt anymore, that I would be happy again. That's changed now, Heero, now that I've seen you again."  
"Relena..." he sputtered.   
"Here," she said, drawing his hand out of his pocket and delicately placing it over her heart.. "Here, feel my heart break from all the pain you've caused it."  
  
  
Duo looked around the office. Behind a deep maple desk, a magnetic dry-erase board hung on the wall with several small maps and arrows drawn in the blue marker. The walls had a chair-rail running around the room with about 3.5 feet up. Panneled it where small maple squares. Above, the wall was painted a deep navy blue. On the desk a folder reading 'Tactics and Plans' lay. Duo reached out for it with ease. "Don't even think about it Maxwell." Duo spun around, face to face with Lady Une.  
  
Heero stood, stunned. Relena had always been hones, and independent, but this brutal truth and new strength had not been there before. He stood there, wondering, hoping she would stay.   
She turned to leave, but Heero caught her wrist. He searched her eyes, and among the fear, hurt and betrayal, he saw a tiny bit of the love she had left for him thread its way through the other emotions, trying to hide behind the other emotions. She turned away from his searching eyes.   
Gently, he touched her petal soft cheek and pulled her face so it would face him. He bent down to kiss her, but stopped. He knew right then it would her hurt her more than anything else. Instead, he wiped away the crystal tears that had scarred her face.   
"Some women can cry and look beautiful. You and I know I can't."  
That is classic Relena, Heero though, her wry humor sticking out to the end. He bent down to kiss her again, but this time he followed through, showing her all the love he had felt for her during the past two months. She looked shocked. She startled to say something, but Heero put a finger to her lips. The sound escaped her lips: "No." Although she whispered the word, it had more effect on Heero than a charging bull. "I am not ogin to be hurt again."   



End file.
